The Fear of Humiliation

A good friend of mine declined a wedding invitation recently although he would very much liked to have accepted. He had no other prior engage-ment?if he had, he would have broken it willingly ?he just did not have a dark grey suit and had no money to buy or hire one?being a student, he has a very limited income. Although his friends, and the couple getting married, said it didn't matter what he wore, he was adamant and stayed away. Of course, what stopped his attending was the idea of 'sticking out like a sore thumb' among the guests in church and at the reception. He was sure other guests would disapprove and that he would feel conspicuous and uncomfortable. In fact, he suffered from a short, sharp bout of a form of fear which affects all of us, often?the fear of humiliation. Anxiety about possible humiliation is one of the most corrosive and insidious barriers to living a full and normal life and stops many people from ever reaching their full potential. It can discourage people from ever going out on a limb, trying something new or ever extending themselves and so having a chance fully to discover the depth and range of their own personalities. There are many uninhibited people who will 'try anything for a laugh', who can laugh at their own failures and not mind others witnessing those failures. But those of us who accept that what people think of us doesn't matter are far fewer than those who 'would rather die' than go through public humiliation.